Posts tagged ‘Noah Wan’

July 9, 2012

On your marks

by 3arn0wl

Mrs. M.P. Robinson demonstrated her supreme command of the whistle again earlier today @ the Little Sniffy CofE Primary School’s Sports Day.  School Secretary,  Gloria Moore née Devine relegated,  as usual,  to the position of impartial scorer.

A handsome crowd came in their finest to offer support and vocal encouragement to their little darlings, except for Rosie Barrieclough, who arrived wearing an extra-large T-shirt and leggings – thereby bagging first prize in the Sack Race.

Rather unfairly, in many observer’s eyes, Noah Wan entered his limb-deficient whippet for the 3 Legged Race, but justice was seen to be done as Thunder espied a rabbit,  and chased that instead.  In the end, Ella Miller and the vicar came first.  Together.

The Egg & Spoon Race was, as usual, owned by Cook Cakes, who can whip up a custard faster than anyone.

And everyone participated in the backward running race, .ɘƨɿɘvɘɿ ni ǫniʜƚ ɘloʜw ɘʜƚ nɒɿ-ɘɿ bnɒ

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May 3, 2012

Making their mark

by 3arn0wl

The Beau Street Runners were out early this morning – there was talk of it being a tight race, but Noah Wan’s generously winning by a country mile;

There’s canvassing and kisses planned as ᗡႱ & JD are intent on their first weekend away together;

Millie Boinet’s in the middle of her Art Practical – predictions are that she’ll do really well; and

Prue Vidor’s in party mode – she wants to let her hair down, and she knows just The Place to do it.

And Ellie Wan asked “How’s Roger Moore done in the local erections?”

December 11, 2011

Never work with children or animals…

by 3arn0wl

The Fiddlers & Dodgers were giving a ribald performance of carols in the foyer, Snodding’s mulled wine was flowing freely, and Cook Cakes’ mince pies were selling like the hot cakes they were. The Christmas Market at Snodding Hall was going superbly well.  Except that Noah Wan found the Secret Santa.

The Little Sniffy CofE Primary School’s nativity play by contrast, was a complete disaster:  two of the angels hadn’t turned up, and the one who did forgot her lines; Mary and Joseph were so busy snogging under the kissing boughs that they missed their entry;  the little lamb that Alistair Crookes had loaned a shepherd was up-staging the infant King;  and the magi were still arguing over the gifts they were going to give the baby Jesus, with Caspar, Melchior and Balthasar trading blows over who was going to present the Wii.  In fact, the only person who gave a staggering performance, was Herod: he’d been on the mulled wine.

October 11, 2011

Switching energy suppliers

by 3arn0wl

Noah Wan had noticed a difference.

The new Headteacher at Poppleton High, Ivy Newbrush, thought nothing of it as she flicked the switch and the lights in her office came on.

Prue Vidor’s terribly boring end of month financial statement PowerPoint was illuminated as usual with a projector.

And Inspector Force took delivery of his electric-powered panda car.

The switchover to renewable electricity had gone incredibly smoothly.

September 1, 2011

A (brief) case for Inspector Force

by 3arn0wl

Ian Force was fishing on the Bredy,  meditating on those unanswerables of life,  when it occurred to him that he’d never seen Noah Wan and Juan Mann in the same place at the same time.  Every time Juan Mann’s there,  Noah Wan’s missing,  and when Noah Wan’s missing,  Ellie Wan’s there.  And of Ellie Wan,  it was Noah Wan who could accurately predict where Alec Tron would be from one moment to the next.

Was there some perfidy occurring?  Or was it just another of those Shakespearian things being played out?

He’ll have to look into the Matt Err when he’s on duty later.

August 12, 2011

Holy Bandstand

by 3arn0wl

The Proms in the Park went off with a larger than anticipated bang last night.

Members of The Sealed Knot had been engaged to set off their cannons during the performance of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture.

Unfortunately however, in what can only have been an oversight, live cannon balls were used, which tore through the bandstand roof and exploded in the gardens some 35 meters away, creating large craters in the flower beds.

“That roof looks more like a bloomin’ colander now – it’s completely ruined,” said on-the-scene fireman,  Walter Sprayer. “Our band won’t be able to perform here for some time.”

Thankfully there were no fatalities during the performance, but apparently Noah Wan was slightly injured.

The Sealed Knot have subsequently pledged to make reparation before next weekend’s concert.