Posts tagged ‘Liz Bannister’

July 10, 2012

Stuff and nonsense

by 3arn0wl

Liz Bannister wanted to bake a Victoria Sponge for tea. She didn’t have all the ingredients though,  so she sent Graeme to the Farmers’ Market with a shopping list:

Well, for some reason Ella Miller wasn’t there, so he couldn’t get the flour.

Phil didn’t have any eggs left either.

And so, in the best traditions of the professional supermarket shopper,  he substituted a packet of Roger Moore’s biscuits for the flour,  and a carton of Minnie Driver’s cream cheese for the eggs.

He’d got everything else though, so that was good. He was sure Liz would be pleased too. 😀

May 30, 2012

The Visit of the blessèd virgin Mary to Elizabeth

by 3arn0wl

Actually Maria was too embarrassed to go,  so she sent a proxy.

That dullard in the rugger team was dispatched forthwith to get it. He must’ve been in there at least 15 minutes and done at least two complete laps of the chemists before he acquired the testing kit.

And it was some considerable time later still before he plucked up the courage to approach the till.

But having met her gaze and flushed post-box red he managed, in a somewhat breaking voice: “’s not for me! It’s for my mate”.

March 25, 2012

Lizzy saves the day

by 3arn0wl

Emily and Alistair were going away for the weekend – a last opportunity to go camping before the baby arrived.  He was having trouble getting anybody to feed his lambs though.

He’d asked DJ,  but he’d already got a date with Jenny.

Joe was busy on the craft market, where sales of his magnificent mobiles had been brisk last weekend, so he couldn’t do it.

In desperation he thought about asking Eddie,  but wasn’t sure he’d remember to do it in time.

And as he was sitting in the Flying Pig,  bemoaning the situation,  Liz Bannister,  offered to do it for him.

February 27, 2012

Living with the in-laws

by 3arn0wl

Starting married life with the in-laws was no way to start a married life.

  • Poppy had tried her best to help out around Litton Farm,  but Liz Bannister was very particular.
  • Andy found himself tip-toeing around when they stayed at Gawthrop,  but well,  with the bedrooms right next to each other…
  • And Winskill was just a distant dream.

What were they gonna do?  Where could they stay? ………………

July 22, 2011

Flower festival

by 3arn0wl

Three hundred and sixty-five red roses were casually strewn across the white altar cloth of  the Hallowed Prostitute earlier today in a completely wanton display of love.

The W.I. have been busy, as usual, decorating the church for the flower festival, with creative and artistic arrangements in alabaster vases.

The church looked resplendent.