Posts tagged ‘Dr. Heal’

June 11, 2012

Happy culturists

by 3arn0wl

Dr. Heal’s got a lot of letters after his name;

the Vice-Chancellor’s very well-endowed;

Ray Burns’s just about to add another load to his collection;

and having seen a whole swarm of them recently, Hugh Wood’s decided to keep Bs.

Letters pray he knows what he’s doing!

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May 20, 2012

Match Report

by 3arn0wl

The cricket season’s here again, and the Snodding & Sniffy side have challenged Chorley University’s First 11 to a match:

@ the crease

Harry Driver drove through the covers for a boundary;

Andy got caught L-B;

Oliver Over’s over’s over.  He’s out for a quack – ran out by Godwin Heal.  Captain Rupert, Lord Snodding’s had a good innings though. He’s got a century – looks like the 15th.

And @ tea, Crispin & Jonathan were two not out!

In the field

ᗡႱ bowled a maiden over;

Hugh Wood delivered a googly which Ray Burns blocked;

And Poppy was caught delivering a full toss behind the pavillion.

[I’ve absolutely no idea what any of this means]

April 2, 2012

March 32nd…

by 3arn0wl

… and there was April Foolery everywhere:

Tim Panini had put Fiona on the rota to work. When she got there she was greeted with “April fool”. She had the last laugh though – she wrote a spoof letter of resignation.

Jenny Darling dumped DJ by text message, which upset him momentarily, until a text five minutes later invited him ‘round for a Sunday Roast.

Harry had nipped out and put a “Sorry for the damage” note on his dad’s Leaf, then cracked up as he watched him give it a thorough examination.

Maria told her dad that she’d had her navel pierced. He went ballistic until she said “April fool”. She neglected to tell him she’d had a tattoo done though.

And Poppy chose her father’s birthday to tell him that they were having a kid. But  Eddie wasn’t falling for that old chestnut! April fool.

March 15, 2012

Middle March

by 3arn0wl

Godwin Heal’s served the sick of Poppleton faithfully for a generation. Now it seems he’s required to become a manager.  He’d been to see Michelle Biskup who’d advised him to take on an accountant, but he’s not sure.  His wife’s always kept her eye on the books.

Meanwhile Gloria Moore née Devine had been driving home from school in her 4×4,  and noticed that Poppy & Andy appeared to be living in Bill Spooner’s caravan.  She thought that wouldn’t do at all, so she went over to see Eddie Lowe to find out what he intended to do about it. Roger Moore thought she shouldn’t be meddling in other people’s business.

And a position has just opened up on Little Sniffy’s parish council,  and Roger Moore fancies his chances.

March 7, 2012

In a flash

by 3arn0wl

It was with sheer panic mode [ON] that Justin’s grandparents dashed him to Poppleton Cottage Hospital with all due haste.

He’d seemed deliriously happy, but he kept wittering on incoherently about his memory:

  • He’d need some anti-serum at the very least –
  • Antibiotics, probably –
  • And oh God!  When did he last have a tetanus jab?  Had he ever had a tetanus jab?

It was only when Dr. Heal reassured them that a terror bite was absolutely nothing to worry about, that they calmed down and had a cup of tea.

March 4, 2012

It’s a breeze!

by 3arn0wl

The fantail had turned the ogee cap, and the 200-year-old mill had got the wind in its sails: it was a good day for milling.

Noel Tall had got wind of the Open Day at Geoff and Ella Miller’s Mill in Upper Snodding. She was really looking forward to milling a stone for the bag.

Visitors enjoyed winding the pulleys to take up the grain, and watched as it was fed through the hole in the runner stone;  waited for it to miraculously transubstantiate in the furrows;  before the flour worked its way out to the edge.

And Geoff had just got wind.

February 4, 2012

Breakfast News

by 3arn0wl

The Poppleton Fire Brigade dashed into Daley Bread in an apparent emergency earlier this morning. Having ordered up all the stock, they confessed to being starving and in need of quantitative easing.

Lord Rupert’s printer is jammed again.  You’d’ve thought he would have realised by now that that’s what happens when you try to use the computer whilst you’re having breakfast.

Angela Anyould’s a cereal starter:  never seems able to finish her muesli though.

And Dr. Heal has counselled Oliver Bath to refrain from eating Moore’s Biscuits for breakfast.  Nice as they are, they’re much better for elevenses.

Later: Trouble at the Women’s Institute.