Posts tagged ‘Chorley University’

July 11, 2012

The Village Haul

by 3arn0wl

Following Justin Case’s recent find, Arky-ologists from the university have been down on the banks of the Bredy with their buckets and spades,  building sand castles sifting sand.

You wouldn’t believe the things they found:

  • and the bones of a cow. :/

Looks like the Moores are having a Barbie.

June 27, 2012

The Three Degrees – Eve of tomorrow

by 3arn0wl

Out of the Chorley sausage making factory spews this season’s well-cured bangers, attired in their superhero gowns and mortar boards,  ready to take on the world.

Amongst them our protagonists.  How did they fair?

June 15, 2012

Cinders May Ball

by 3arn0wl

Earlier in the week, hyperbolic paraboloids were erected on the immaculately manicured lawns of Chorley Uni for the May Ball, and last night revellers arrived, arrayed in their finery,  feasted,  and then kicked off their shoes to dance.

Undergraduate Pixie Smith effervesced, “The band were brilliant, the fireworks were fantastic, and of course, you can’t beat a glass of the Flying Pig’s sparkling perry, Maison.”

But disaster struck at midnight, as an errant firework hit the marquee and fire engulfed the big top.

Thankfully there were no fatalities, and the two sisters who underwent surgery, had planned to do so before the event – for cosmetic reasons.

“It’s a miracle that no one was hurt.” Chorley University‘s Vice-Chancellor said, “It went from a fun party to Dante’s Inferno in no time.”

Fireman Harry Prince is currently touring the area, to redistribute several pairs of shoes.

May 26, 2012

New directions

by 3arn0wl

Chorley University undergraduate, Ali Moany, is studying for the bar.  She decided to make the most of the glorious weather and took the Blue Riband along the recently completed extension to Upper Snodding. From there she walked up to the trig point way above Winskill with her tablet and spent the day reading.

Rosie Barriclough’s decree absolute plopped through the door,  somewhat ironically.  She went for a walk to clear her mixed emotions.

And Percy, weighed down by the judgement he’d been considering for some time, decided to don his Chauhan’s boots and amble up the hill for some fresh air.

May 20, 2012

Match Report

by 3arn0wl

The cricket season’s here again, and the Snodding & Sniffy side have challenged Chorley University’s First 11 to a match:

@ the crease

Harry Driver drove through the covers for a boundary;

Andy got caught L-B;

Oliver Over’s over’s over.  He’s out for a quack – ran out by Godwin Heal.  Captain Rupert, Lord Snodding’s had a good innings though. He’s got a century – looks like the 15th.

And @ tea, Crispin & Jonathan were two not out!

In the field

ᗡႱ bowled a maiden over;

Hugh Wood delivered a googly which Ray Burns blocked;

And Poppy was caught delivering a full toss behind the pavillion.

[I’ve absolutely no idea what any of this means]

May 14, 2012

Pass it on, boys.

by 3arn0wl

Well there they are.

Shitting nervously in the Great Hall, in perfectly rigid rows – like atoms in a solid – ready to take their final hurdle.

Their armoury?  Just a quiverful of quills and the knowledge dripped down over three years, from the generation above.

And amongst them a quiet, unassuming, intellectual who’s seen it all five times before.  But what makes Ray Burns stand apart from the rest?

March 26, 2012

Sport, sport everywhere…

by 3arn0wl

After a hiatus of 27 tournaments, Hugh Wood was back on winning form again on the Tooting links, beating Ian Waite into convincing second position.  “This was coming,” Wood said.  “I’ve been close a number of times.”

An armada of evenly grouped rowers gathered to do battle on the Burbling in the grace of the March sunshine.  In a highly competitive afternoon’s racing, a Spanish boat sank.  “Estoy empapando.”  Emilio said.  “Necesito una ducha.”

And Poppleton was awash with brightly coloured tee shirts and shorts yesterday as a tsunami of the great and the good and the fit and the fat surged along the A440 towards the finish line for some Sport Relief. “That were exhaustin’”, observed Chorley University undergraduate Pixie Smith. “I’ll ‘ave t’ go fer a lie down now”.