Archive for ‘Upper Snodding’

July 10, 2012

Stuff and nonsense

by 3arn0wl

Liz Bannister wanted to bake a Victoria Sponge for tea. She didn’t have all the ingredients though,  so she sent Graeme to the Farmers’ Market with a shopping list:

Well, for some reason Ella Miller wasn’t there, so he couldn’t get the flour.

Phil didn’t have any eggs left either.

And so, in the best traditions of the professional supermarket shopper,  he substituted a packet of Roger Moore’s biscuits for the flour,  and a carton of Minnie Driver’s cream cheese for the eggs.

He’d got everything else though, so that was good. He was sure Liz would be pleased too. 😀

July 6, 2012

Come on Andy!

by 3arn0wl

Andy wanted a hand in Winskill,  and so he’d decided he’d fit the kitchen.

Admittedly he was coming at the sink from an unusual angle,  but thinking he was turning the nuts counter-clockwise,  he’d spent the best part of an hour tightening them! :/

Poppy phoned di godfather, but he said that Gerry was busy forging at the moment and so couldn’t do any counter fitting.

However!  Just at that moment Phil Anyould appeared (sporting a chicken under his arm)  to deliver a tray of eggs.  And during this rather strange hen-counter,  he stuck his head under the sink,  to give handy Andy a handy.

June 19, 2012

Strawberry shortage leads to unusual jams

by 3arn0wl

There were long queueueueueues on Eddie Lowe’s fruit stall @ the Farmers’ Market earlier, as news spread throughout the region of a shortage of soft fruit.

Local celebrity, Felicity Flowers, contacted press Here, to alert us of the crisis, and ever since, we have received numerous reports regarding the looting of jams and preserves.

Farmers were said to be employing veg-ilantes with nets to defend their soft fruit. However, on closer inspection they turned out to be scare crows, and the nets were covering the fruit.

Market traders reported a run on beans, though perhaps that’d make something more akin to chutney than jam.

Within the past hour,  Inspector Force has issued the following statement: “This is a matter of grave importance. If members of the public see criminals with more than 2 pots of jam or 2 punnets of strawberries, or red lips and mouth, they SHOULD NOT approach them, as they may be dangerous. They should report the sighting immediately to the police”.

June 7, 2012


by 3arn0wl

Sales of his Nouveau had been brisk last Autumn.

His Van Rouge has always been popular.

And once the first vinegar-overtones have assailed the palate, customers seem happy to quaff large quantities of his Blanc Plonk.

But in honour of English Wine WeekLord Rupert’s got his Special Reserve fizzing Rosé out.  And corks are popping everywhere!

June 5, 2012

Hey Day

by 3arn0wl

All the tractors have been out lowering: making hay whist the sun shines.

Winskill’s coming on apace: Bob’s laid the underfloor heating in the limecrete foundations and the steel frame’s in place. The glass walls arrive later this week, and then he’ll get the solar tiles on. They’ll be topping off in no time at all.

Meanwhile Grace Merryweather has been making a careful note of all creatures great and small in her garden.

June 4, 2012

Masses at Snodding Hall

by 3arn0wl

On what has been a most glorious weekend, it was inevitable that large numbers of people would make their way up to Lord Rupert’s estate.

With the trees and borders resplendent with their Springtime adornment, the gardens were looking magnificent.  Many made the most of the weather; enjoying a picnic or a barbecue amidst the “Capably landscaped grounds”.  A few teenagers (and more than one dog) splashed in the lake, whilst others languished under the dappled shade of the trees, drinking Chianti fiasco, and reading the Romantic poets to their lovers.

Lots of people went inside the historic hall – “Remodelled during The Restoration by Barry” – and marvelled at the opulent splendour of the lobby.  Lord Rupert was particularly excited to show off his Priest’s Hole.

All in all, an excellent day of bird watching, Chianti-drinking and Sun-burning.

May 29, 2012


by 3arn0wl

Have women’s accessories been offended?

Heaven forbid a sexist slur!

No, it’s just a typo – ‘Insulted bags’ were available at the Farmers’ Market today to convey home battered chickens.