Archive for ‘Tooting’

June 25, 2012

How many beans make 1½?

by 3arn0wl

How time flies!  It’s already Georgia, Lucida and Perpetua’s ½ birthday,  and although the girls won’t remember it,  Crystal and Norman are keen to mark the date.  They’ve invited some of their friends around for a Barbie.   The Ties are there of course, and the Youspell-Thats.  Emily and Alistair came,  as well as a smattering of doting relatives bearing gifts.

Unfortunately however, the weather put a bit of a dampener on the al fresco festivities, but the guests still entered into the spirit of the occasion and joined in the party games:

  • Postman’s knock;
  • Pass the parcel and
  • Pin the tail on the donkey. :/
June 13, 2012


by 3arn0wl

ᗡႱ‘s signed up for gym membership at Poppleton Leisure Centre – JD wants him to get a six-pack.

Poppy wants Andy to get a six-pack too – but he’s going to get his from the Flying Pig.

June 11, 2012

Happy culturists

by 3arn0wl

Dr. Heal’s got a lot of letters after his name;

the Vice-Chancellor’s very well-endowed;

Ray Burns’s just about to add another load to his collection;

and having seen a whole swarm of them recently, Hugh Wood’s decided to keep Bs.

Letters pray he knows what he’s doing!

June 6, 2012

π in the sky

by 3arn0wl

Tom Bell had been doing some number crunching and had worked out that his goddess Venus was going to be in the Sun.

He made himself a pinhole camera, and got hold of the paper to project the image onto.

Now all he needs is a clear sky, a good view, and five minutes to himself.

April 7, 2012


by 3arn0wl

In the hiatus of Easter Saturday, vendors are hoping to separate punters from their hard-earned.

As La Belle glides up and down the Burbling offering lunch and afternoon tea, with the lure of an Easter Bunny crèche, the Blue Riband chugs along the Biscuit Line to find a story telling Paddington Bear at Tooting Halt.

There’s a Treasure Hunt in Poppleton Park, where teams are encouraged to find the ‘golden eggs’.

Lord Rupert’s hosting an egg-decorating workshop, led by Bill Wainwright and Antonín Biskup. The W.I. are there too, selling their cakes and preserves.

And Gawthrop Farm’s open to visitors – children love to pet the animals of course, and there’s always a chance of seeing a lambing. With egg tossing and egg rolling games and a hayride on offer, it’s a good job there’s some Scrum-P available for the adults.

March 27, 2012

The train is a coming

by 3arn0wl

Riding a wave footplate of interest and enthusiasm for the project, the BLAGGERS are delighted to announce that the next phase of the restoration of the Biscuit Line – the eight mile stretch between Tooting and Lower Snodding – is to begin.

“Despite the economic climate, funding is flooding in from users, from donations, from sponsors and from grants,” said chairman of the Biscuit Line, Roger Moore, “And this phase should cost less even though this stretch is longer.”

Phil Anyould has submitted his estimate of the cost of the works and is confident of securing the contract.

Asked what he thought about he Blue Riband coming to Lower Snodding again, Lord Rupert said: “I’m chuffed to bits!”

March 26, 2012

Sport, sport everywhere…

by 3arn0wl

After a hiatus of 27 tournaments, Hugh Wood was back on winning form again on the Tooting links, beating Ian Waite into convincing second position.  “This was coming,” Wood said.  “I’ve been close a number of times.”

An armada of evenly grouped rowers gathered to do battle on the Burbling in the grace of the March sunshine.  In a highly competitive afternoon’s racing, a Spanish boat sank.  “Estoy empapando.”  Emilio said.  “Necesito una ducha.”

And Poppleton was awash with brightly coloured tee shirts and shorts yesterday as a tsunami of the great and the good and the fit and the fat surged along the A440 towards the finish line for some Sport Relief. “That were exhaustin’”, observed Chorley University undergraduate Pixie Smith. “I’ll ‘ave t’ go fer a lie down now”.