Posts tagged ‘Ray Burns’

July 2, 2012

On Balance

by 3arn0wl

The scholars at the Little Sniffy CofE Primary School are studying averages.   They’ve worked out that June is the median month,  that today is the median day of the year,  and most excitingly of all,  that the most important moment in this portentous day is in a few minutes:  lunch time!

Meanwhile @ Poppleton High Murray Merryweather seized the moment to pivot to balancing loads.  Taking his classes outside,  he got the Year 8s on seesaws,  measuring where they had to sit on the pivot to balance.  Some saw it as an end of year doss lesson, but Oli and Justin enjoyed it.

Today’s a turning point for lorry driver Ray Burns too.  No more seemingly impossible reversing maneuvers with the tanker,  he’s been head-hunted to join a think tank.

And the twins?  Well Janus-like: Rose continues to look back at her ancestry,  whilst Evan looks forward to the new season with the Chorley Wanderers:  he’s joined their youth squad.

June 27, 2012

The Three Degrees – Eve of tomorrow

by 3arn0wl

Out of the Chorley sausage making factory spews this season’s well-cured bangers, attired in their superhero gowns and mortar boards,  ready to take on the world.

Amongst them our protagonists.  How did they fair?

June 11, 2012

Happy culturists

by 3arn0wl

Dr. Heal’s got a lot of letters after his name;

the Vice-Chancellor’s very well-endowed;

Ray Burns’s just about to add another load to his collection;

and having seen a whole swarm of them recently, Hugh Wood’s decided to keep Bs.

Letters pray he knows what he’s doing!

May 20, 2012

Match Report

by 3arn0wl

The cricket season’s here again, and the Snodding & Sniffy side have challenged Chorley University’s First 11 to a match:

@ the crease

Harry Driver drove through the covers for a boundary;

Andy got caught L-B;

Oliver Over’s over’s over.  He’s out for a quack – ran out by Godwin Heal.  Captain Rupert, Lord Snodding’s had a good innings though. He’s got a century – looks like the 15th.

And @ tea, Crispin & Jonathan were two not out!

In the field

ᗡႱ bowled a maiden over;

Hugh Wood delivered a googly which Ray Burns blocked;

And Poppy was caught delivering a full toss behind the pavillion.

[I’ve absolutely no idea what any of this means]

May 14, 2012

Pass it on, boys.

by 3arn0wl

Well there they are.

Shitting nervously in the Great Hall, in perfectly rigid rows – like atoms in a solid – ready to take their final hurdle.

Their armoury?  Just a quiverful of quills and the knowledge dripped down over three years, from the generation above.

And amongst them a quiet, unassuming, intellectual who’s seen it all five times before.  But what makes Ray Burns stand apart from the rest?

August 14, 2011

The beautiful game

by 3arn0wl

As the Chorley Wanderers kick off the new season, new signing Ian, Waite



… takes pole position and Kyle is Left Right Back in the changing room as Sweeper.

Somewhat inexplicably the Wanderers got off to a decent start:

After a foul tackle, Waitey had to be stretchered off, leaving the team with no strikers. But The Boss considered that a good thing, on the whole.

There was some confusion late in the game however, as the lads thought Charlie Goodwin had put on a substitute mid-fielder. Turns out though that it was one of the University 11 come to retrieve a boundary from their match next door. Still, in his brief innings for the Wanderers, Ray Burns still managed to hat trick a score…

… and bowl a googly at the goalie’s middle stump. Ouch!